I had a strange dream yet again…. I was laying in my parents bed with my mom and but it felt like I was younger, but the bed is well after I was older, and my dad comes in and gets into bed and asks if I have a headache I nod yes then try to move away from dad, and closer to mom and I settle down for the night curled in the middle, like a young child… I don’t know what any of that means… I hate these dreams…

October 24th

Okay so on October 24Th, yes I know that was yesterday, my brother Marcus would have been 20 years old, I can’t believe it has been 20 years sometimes I still feel like that little girl with her head buried in her dad’s side watching the burial of her brother, I was 6 and I remember the funeral home I refused to go up to see him my mom asked a few times, I said no each time, I remember the pain, I saw the tears in everbodys eyes, I remember what dad was wearing that stupid tan jacket, how I hated that jacket, it had so many happy and so many sad memories, I remember being cold but dad didn’t have a coat, but mostly remember dad holding me, I don’t have that this year and it is making it a harder time, the memories and the nightmares, I never I imaged, not having him around on this day, and it hurts worse.

Hearts Desire

Can’t you see me in the eyes of the moon

Can’t you feel me in the burn of the sun

Can’t you see that we all become dust

Can’t you feel the power between us

Can’t you see your hearts desire

Can’t you feel my hearts fire

Can’t you see me in the eyes of the moon

Can’t you feel me in the burn of the sun

Can’t you see the void without me

Can’t you feel that we are meant to be

Can’t you see I was created for you

Can’t you feel my words are true

Can’t you see me in the eyes of the moon

Can’t you feel me in the burn of the sun

Can’t you see I may have left this world


Can’t you feel me in your hearts fold

Eclipse and Breaking Dawn

Okay I am doing these both together okay so Eclipse I give a C- and Breaking Dawn and D+, now why okay so in Eclipse it allowed me not to be bored, Alice gave me entertainment, and the concessions made by the main charactors are very interesting. Now Breaking Dawn… I got bored in parts… I don’t like being bored… but I am glad it had a happy ending so to say but really would it be so hard to have death in this one there was in the others 😦 some drama is good…. I like drama… or and the leaders in these books really cowards, bring them on! And come on imprinting on Bella and Edward’s daughter really…. how is that going to work! A half vampire (another issue of mine a vampire is the living dead they can not reproduce!) and a werewolf? Don’t get but at least she ties up a lot of loose ends better then some books do, even if it took a whole book to do so!

The Strange Dreams Are Back

The strange dreams are back, I was getting engaged, the ring was different lots of stones sapphire opal ruby blue topaz a pink stone, but that was just one ring I didn’t wear it so much, but the other was long and pretty I wore it all the time on my pinkie it covered the pinkie it was gold spiral with pretty stones on it, I liked this ring so much I wore this one the other I kept under something in the china closet, my dad was there and I remember showing him the ring and telling him I was going to get married we were standing by the kitchen doorway in my house, then I was working at a school, I was a counsel? but they kept sending someone to my office to talk with them then I walk out with someone I don’t know who it felt like Marshall but wasn’t and I asked them if they were going to stop sending them to my office, i saw a car it had my family in it at first I thought dad was driving but as I got closer it was mason and mick was standing outside it talking to mom in the passenger sit, them I woke up. Somewhere before leaving the school I ran into someone I know from grade school Belinda was here name and I told her I was getting married I was about to leave the school it was dark in the school and I showed her the ring on my pinkie.

New Moon Book

Okay so I said I wasn’t going to do this but I am going though these books really fast, Okay New Moon Grade C- Why? I like Alice forget the whole sparkly vampire thing Alice is funny again sparkly vampire thing not good, but forgiveable this time because of Alice, the werewolves not too far off from many many Native American legends, did some research even the 2 tribes, my ansestors come from had stories smilar to the werewolves in this book so I am okay with it, but the sparkly vampires can’t find them, found something like them except the sparkle aspect more like sun drains them of thier energy so still vampires are not completely forgiven, only Alice is. But this had an okay plot, I was getting bored with Bella trying to hurt herself but then Alice saves the day with a untrue vision YAY!!! Action in the book, at this point Edward thinks Belle has passed on and wants to die and goes to the royal vampires (many myths have them so okay and many myths have them with powers as well so ok) but still issues with the sparkle thing and come on Belle really you have Jacob being all nice and waiting and you forgive Edward like he did nothing wrong really make him work for it you are destorying woman every where I like that there is not much with the sparkle going on with this book maybe Eclipse will have a forgiveable note but not anticipating it so and I have a feeling the movie will get in F… sorry movie…

Again I Look Towards The Sky,

Wishing For Raindrops To Fall And Mix With The Tears I Cry.
Just a random quote today people, but I have been thinking I like to research the myth and legends of creatures I am thinking about going to see if I can get a degree in folklore, and then maybe teach that would be great, or maybe get a degree in legal studies and then off to law school… I don’t know wish something would just show me a sign what I should do, where I should be, I feel like I am lost in the woods, with no place to go.

Here I Sit In The Woods
Contemplating My Moods
Again I Look Towards The Sky
Wishing For Raindrops To Mix With The Tears I Cry
I Feel Lost No Place To Go
I feel so Cold Down To My Core
I Am Looking For A Sign
That My Future Is Mine
I Must Find This Sign
But First I Must Leave The Woods Behind